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2nd September 2011

10:47pm: This is just to catch up...?
So, since I wasn't able to post for the rest of my trip, I'll just catch up on some of the more interesting stuff (for me to go on about.)

Around the middle of August, I went and saw the Pablo Picasso exhibit in Taipei as well as the Marc Chagall one in Tainan. Both of their works were great, albeit in different ways. For Marc Chagall's works, one of the main things I liked was actually the colours and the way he used them. A lot of his painting were rather abstract.

Picasso is mostly famous for his abstract works but some of his more realistic paintings were really amazing as well. In some of his midway ones, you can really see the way that he begins to start skewing around with the perception. I suppose that's basically what art is though, our perceptions.

Whenever I go into an art exhibit, I can't help but wonder what the artist would think about their works being displayed. The paintings I saw all varied and some didn't look as complete as others and sometimes their were also drafts hanging beside paintings. I always wonder how the artist would feel about that...

Anyway, I did end up going out to meet up with friends today. I woke up and was feeling better after some sleep so I decided to go with the necessary social visit. Well, when I say necessary it's not that I feel obligated but that I know sooner or later it's only natural that we'll be meeting up. So now, after a day of roaming around with them and catching up, I feel tired. A good tired as opposed to yesterday's woozy tiredness though.

On a side note...
This Is Just To Say

I have bought
the poster
that was of
Doctor Who

and which
you were possibly
for yourself

Forgive me
I just felt like bragging
though weird
and so odd

I think I should go to bed...

1st September 2011

9:21pm: Back
So yeah... I'm finally back in Canada!

And I'm finally posting again after an extremely long break. The internet USB turned out to be completely useless. It kept claiming that it had a signal but I couldn't even open up a page of google so I ended up returning it. It feels weird to have the internet at my fingertips again. I mean, I can search up about asexuality and so much information will come up.

On another (similar?) note, it feels kind of weird to be back in Canada again. I have plans to meet up with a friend tomorrow but I don't really feel like going out. Of course, I don't really feel like just staying home and lounging around by myself so it's not as if I'll have anything else to do and it's not as if I'll mind hanging out with her.

The weather is great, that's one of the first things I noticed when I got back. It's sunny but not too hot.

Anyway, my mind is all over the place right now. I'm feeling disjointed as well. And tired. But a bit wired at the same time. My brain is all mushy. I think I'll go sit in front of the tv for a bit and just space out. Maybe tomorrow I'll manage to post something with more semblance?

7th August 2011

8:50pm: Can't believe it...
I actually have internet access now! The wireless internet USB I bought hasn't been working too well lately. It'll make a connection long enough for me to get my hopes up before promptly disconnecting...

Ugh, my brother wants to use the computer and he'll probably keep bugging me until I let him so... so much for that. I'm gonna try to post more later.

3rd August 2011

1:51am: Religion just ain't for me...
So, I went with to a Buddhist temple with my family the other day. Whenever we come back to Taiwan, we always end up going to a few temples, whether they're Taoist temples or Buddhist ones or others I can't identify.

One time I asked my mom whether she considered herself to be particularly religious and she admitted that she didn't really. She just considers it to be a sort of tradition. This bothered me but I didn't say anything else about it. Since she grew up in Taiwan, she was used to participating in different religious ceremonies and going to to temples. I suppose it's just part of Taiwan's culture. It's certainly not a part that I'm particularly comfortable with though.

It always bothers me when I into temples or such with my family and pray with them. I always feel so fake, praying along with everyone else, holding my incense sticks as if I know what I'm doing. Most of the time, I don't know who the statue in front of me is meant to represent, so I just go through the whole thing thinking 'sorry, sorry, sorry...'

I don't have any religious beliefs so it always feels so wrong and insincere for me to pray to something I have no faith in. As if I'm cheapening it for others. It just seems disrespectful, in a way. Next time, I should probably just tell them I don't feel like going.

I did see one women at the temple that particularly caught my eye, whom came with a man and little boy I assumed were her husband and son. She looked to be in her thirties and she just kept standing at one of the altars(is this what they're called?) and praying while holding these two halves that both have a curved side and a flat side. The point of praying with these is to ask the god(s) a question then throw down the halves to see the result. If both halves showed the flat side or showed the curved side it was a negative. Only if one half is flat and the other half is curved, does it mean a positive question.

I think the women was there before we got there and was probably still there long after we left. It's a depressing though. She just kept holding the halves in her hand then throwing them down only to repeat again. I hope she ended up getting the positive that she was looking for, even if I don't personally think it would matter much.

31st July 2011

6:02pm: Harry Potter....
I finally went out with some friends and watched it! Took me long enough. Even after two weeks out, it was still pretty much a full theatre.

Anyway, I pretty much just felt the need to post that.... cause it was amazing... :O

29th July 2011

10:16am: Finally
I haven't been on the internet in so long... I'll probably be able to post more regularly now that I'm no longer in Penghu. Or at least, I won't have such long breaks between posts.

Staying with the grandparents was okay. They're easy to get along with although sometimes I had no idea what they were saying. Their washroom was kind of appalling but I suppose it's a lot harder to keep things clean in Taiwan. For one thing, there are a lot more bugs. I have so many gee dee mosquito bites; it's kind of ridiculous.

Right now, only my mom and my brother and I are living in our current housing whatever. On Monday, we'll be visiting my mom's side of the family again though. My brother and I will probably stay at my mom's sister's place while she stay with the grandparents.

In Taiwan, this is pretty much how we live. We basically stay in one place for a bit and make the necessary meeting with friends and family then we go live somewhere else for a bit and back and forth and so on. I guess it's not too bad, although sometimes it certainly feels like a drag. Especially the fact that for the entire stay in Taiwan, I won't have any guitar that I can play on...! :(

I managed to draw a lot yesterday though, so that's a plus. After the short plane ride back from Penghu, only three relatives dropped by so I had a bunch of time. It felt good to draw again since I haven't really been able to lately. Maybe I'll be able manage without my guitar... Well, as long as the heat isn't too bad, I think I'll be fine.

18th July 2011

7:32pm: Made it to Taiwan
Wow... It's been more than a week since my last post. Oops? I finally went out and got one of those USBs for internet so now I'm connected to the rest of the world again! I doubt I'll be able to go online much though, considering my brother will probably hog the USB. 

Anyway, basic run down of the trip so far...

The plane ride was ungodly long, as per usual. I was able to finish reading an entire bloody book.
It's not as hot as I was afraid it would be, due to the rainy weather. I haven't decided if that's good or bad yet. Of course, I still feel the usual stickiness whenever I come back. It's so gee dee humid here.
The food is still as great as ever, just as expected. I'm going to gain so much weight this month.
My jet lag is survivable and I should be over it in a few days.
Meeting up with relatives ranges from awkward to more awkward but that's manageable too. Tomorrow, I'm going to go visit my grandparents on my dad's side, staying with them for over a week. Don't know how that'll go. The place they live isn't really in touch with the times.
There are several cats that hang around the place I'm currently sleeping at. Apparently, there were also several kitties but now there's only one left.
Oh yeah, and I still haven't seen Harry Potter yet... :(

I'll probably go into more depth on the happenings but for now I'm just going to keep it simple. Low energy levels at the moment. Gonna go recharge with foooooood....

12th July 2011

11:43pm: Taiwan
Tomorrow night, or I suppose the early morning of the day after tomorrow, I'll be on a flight to Taiwan(!) I think last year was the only year in my life that I didn't go back to Taiwan, and believe it or not, I used to take for granted my annual trip back. The longer I live in Canada, the less it feels like home though, even if I do go back practically every year. I'm not even sure if it ever really felt like home, since it's not as if I remember myself being there as a baby, even if I do know it to be a fact. It's more like a foreign place than my birth place.

At the moment, I have mixed feelings about going back for the summer. I suppose it sounds bad to phrase it as if it were a chore, but now, it feels like an obligation to go back and visit my relatives. Although I have nothing against them, I kind of dread meeting up with them. The fact that they're my relatives makes it more uncomfortable to me than if they were just strangers. I guess one reason for that could be that I find their opinion of me more important than a strangers. I'm sure I could delve into a lot of theories but the fact still remains that I always feel so awkward trying to communicate with them like a blundering idiot in my horribly accented mandarin. And my Taiwanese is even worse; I can understand some of it but I only know how to say a few words.

Haha, ugh.... I can say a lot on when it comes to most things pertaining to Taiwan. I haven't started packing yet though, so I should probably go do that or at least go to bed so I can get up early to pack...

8th July 2011

12:44am: Books... *drools*
Went to the book store today! I try not to go too often since I always end up bringing a huge pile home, but this time I managed to buy only two. I can already feel that they're going to be good reads. *excited*

One of them was in the autobiography section (I was originally trying to find Frankie Boyle's, My Shit Life So Far)  The book's written by Stephen Markley, who I have never heard of, but the title caught my attention. It's called Publish This Book and it's a premature memoir on trying to publish the book in question! I thought the idea was pretty gee dee interesting and the little footnotes he adds are hilarious. Another great thing is, to quote the back cover, "You pretty much know it has a happy ending."

The other book was written by Jacqueline Carey. Called Kushiel's Dart, it's the first in a fantasy series. I've been getting more into the genre lately so a friend recommended it and I figured that I'd give it a try. Generally, she's a very critical reader so the fact that she enjoyed it is a very promising sign. She did warn me that there was a fair bit of sex in it though. I'm sure that if even someone as asexual as managed, then I can probably/hopefully manage as well. Besides, the series was compared to Frank Herbert's Dune series so it can't be too bad...

Well, maybe I'll get back on them when I've finished devouring them. :D

6th July 2011

8:01pm: Caricatures
One of the things I've always wanted, was for someone to draw a live caricature of me. It's a rather strange wish, I suppose, but I think it'd be really cool to have someone do that for me on the spot.

I remember reading somewhere that the reason caricatures are harder to draw than realistic portraits is because a portrait is just putting down the features as accurately as possible, while a caricature incorporates more of the artist's perception and exaggerates them. There's the difference between seeing and "really seeing".

How caricaturists can manage to exaggerate features and still make the drawings look good is a wonder to me  though. Whenever I try to draw in that style, it's always too realistic and merely ends up looking as if I had messed up on a realistic drawing as opposed to looking as if I had drawn that way on purpose.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to keep trying. Back to the drawing board....?
Haha, I guess that's not really what the idiom means... but I just wanted to sneak in a pun.

4th July 2011

9:01pm: Productivity levels: low
So, I've run out of steam a bit... I haven't really written anything in the past couple of days. Absolutely no progress has been made; it's pathetic, really. It's hard to believe that I ever managed to actually write 50k last November. Maybe I should actually be feeling more proud of myself for that. ;O

Veering off topic slightly, I can' help but wonder why they call it writers' block and art block. Shouldn't it be writers' block and artists' block? Or perhaps, writing block and art block? Just a thought, that's all...

Anyway, I really, really should be working on my story at the moment. Although this is considered writing, it's not exactly the type of writing that I'm aiming towards. Since my story's getting nowhere, maybe I'll just go look at a prompt later and write some short drabble to get my creative juices flowing. At the moment, I can feel them just trickling away and slowly drying up from misuse... hmm.... Better do something about that.

1st July 2011

11:11am: Happy Canada Day!
Yep, it's our 144th year! I think...?

I hope the weather gets better by the time I'm going out to the beach... or at least by the time they set the fireworks. Come on Sun, don't be shy! :O

Anyway, the story I've been writing is moving along slowly. It probably doesn't help that I'll be out again today. I feel bad for neglecting my characters though. Maybe I can manage to boost my word count a bit before I leave....

*goes off to write*

28th June 2011

4:57pm: It's just one of those
bad days, look outside and
be careful what you ride....

Ugh, I have to rewrite this since I accidentally deleted what I wrote. Feel so cruddy right now.... Thank god for Jack Johnson music.

Actually, I'm too lazy to type it all up again. Maybe I'll post something else later...

26th June 2011

11:22pm: Why didn't I hear about him earlier?
For some strange reason, I can't help but find the singer Hawksley Workman extremely slightly sexy. I felt like such a girl saying that, but I am one, so I said it anyway. He's preeetty gee dee incredible and he's also a Canadian, which is a cool fact.


Go to that link if you want to see what I'm talking about! The video's pretty simple but it doesn't disappoint. 

There's just something about him. I mean, just listen to those ridiculous lyrics! Of course, they're ridiculous in all the right ways, mind you... Also, his dance moves are just amazing. They're dramatic yet it fits the song so perfectly. And... admit it, he's practically the epitome of sexy when he touches his own chest midway into the song and runs his hands down his torso like that. Actually, he looks incredibly sexy throughout that entire video. I could watch his video "Jealous of Your Cigarette" all day long; yes, it's that great.

I don't even know if his dance moves qualify as "dancing!" Maybe I just like them because that's how I sometimes dance in the privacy of my own room. Over exaggerated body movements and mouth movements. Well, either way, that video always makes me inexplicably happy!

I'm going to go and re-watch it now... :D

25th June 2011

7:33pm: Want to hear a joke?
Stephenie Meyer.

Haha! Sorry, I couldn't resist. *grins*

On another note, ever since I completed NaNoWriMo (which for those who don't know, stands for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is for participants to write over 50k words in November), I haven't really written anything else. Well, aside from mandatory English assignments which don't really count anyway.

If I'm ever going to become a  published author though, or one that's any good, sitting on my arse all day without ever lifting a pen is hardly going to help me. Besides, it can already be considered an overly ambitious aim, so if I never actually do anything about, I can just kiss my future books goodbye. Always waiting for inspiration to hit is pointless. How will anything ever be written that way? Maybe it's just me but I think it's much better to chase down inspiration. Chances are, a book isn't going to just randomly drop into someone's lap, even as cool as that might be.

I guess my goal for this summer is to write daily and to slowly increase my word count as well. That way, by the end of the summer, I'll be able to write over a set amount of words per day. Instead of waiting for my muse to whisper sweet nothings into my ear, I'll be able to woo the ideas out of her! Or him! Or it! So, here's to improving!

Anyway, these are my words to those that also want to be authors (and maybe even those that don't.)
Go write!

Current Mood: I'm in a writing mood! :D

24th June 2011

11:31pm: Good news!
To me, at least. I doubt that anyone else will care that my mandarin class has been postponed to Tuesday but my god am I happy to hear that!

I suppose it's a bit sad that I find this a good thing, considering Mandarin is technically my first language. I just find it so much more difficult to master than English though. That's probably because I moved to Canada at such a young age and since I was constantly surrounded by English speakers, it was a lot easier for me to pick up on that than Mandarin. Or maybe there's just something about English that I can't help but prefer over Mandarin.

I mean, reading is something I really enjoy and I spend a lot of my time devouring books. However, most of the books I read are always written in English. My love of books doesn't seem to extend it's way over to reading in Chinese as well, and I don't really see why that should be. Mandarin isn't inferior to English or anything, so the only explanation for that would have to be my inferior understanding of Mandarin. That thought's a bit of a downer though. Imagine all the good Chinese literature I'm missing out on just because my Chinese is no good...

The thing is,it's not just when it comes to reading. I also find communicating in English so much easier! I love the language, but this makes my life so much more complicated though, considering I can only talk to my parents in Chinese, unless I purposely want to confuse them as much as possible.Why I would want to do that though, is beyond me. It makes me feel a bit guilty already that I find it so difficult to talk to them at times.

Even my thought's are formed in English though! I just seem to naturally fall back on English. It's makes for a good default language, no doubt about that. :"D And, at least my English is good, right? :O

23rd June 2011

4:16pm: Day two
I've actually tried to write in several journals already, although never an internet one. I'm not even sure why I'm bothering with this but I hope that it'll prove to be better than my previous attempts. There's just something about journals that I've never been able to get the hang of.

It's probably because the majority of what I have to say is too insubstantial or petty to be put down on paper and I end up filtering everything so that all that I have written down is a date. It's a bit depressing since I've seen so many people advise others to keep journals for emotional relief and such.  I always just end up feeling slightly embarrassed of what I've written down though, and immediately after writing, I then have to resist the urge to completely destroy what I've written. That probably would have been a good way for stress relief, actually.

Or maybe it's because I'm always over thinking things so by the time my thoughts have made their way onto paper, they've become little convoluted monsters... and I just can't stand being the one who created them. This is probably going to turn out to be one of those. Oops?

 Most likely it's just my fear that my journal entries will turn out to be completely filled with angst though and I would hate to think that that's what goes on in my head. With proof like that, denial would be so hard to maintain....!

Ugh, writing about this is probably not the best way to start off... sorry to whoever's reading this? I'm not sure what compelled me to go on about this. Here's to hoping my next post won't be insubstantial, convoluted, or full of angst. ;O

22nd June 2011

3:49pm: Just to get this over with.....
It's my first post! I figure that I should just get this out of the way so that my journal won't look so empty.
Very few people will probably see this but I decided to create an account on a little whim, even though this website is hardly popular.
Well, I'm supposed to be attending an art class in 10 minutes so I'll just keep things short for now...
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